An Impossible Tightrope

(dedicated to the narcissists of harvard-radcliffe, and the southeast texas-based nay-sayers)

By Ariana Akbari

First you’re “a tease,”
Then you’re “a b*tch,”
And you’re “too poor,”
But also “too rich.”

One day you look “like Angelina Jolie,”
And then by the next, you’re “not nearly as pretty.”

First you’re “so smart,”
Then you’re “goodhearted,”
(Which is Ivy League-talk
For saying “r*tarded.”)

One day they insist “you should ask for more,”
And by the next you’ve become “an entitled whore.”

First you’re “too weird,”
Then you’re “too normal,”
And “all the guys like you,”
But none ask you to formal.

One day you agree that “these people all suck,”
But the next morning you think it was “just a stroke of bad luck.”

First you’re “a nerd,”
Then you’re “too cool,”
And you’re “unbelievably wise,”
*For such “a naive fool.”

One day you realize — this game is completely unwinnable!
And this tightrope they’ve made for you?

It’s entirely invisible.